Life in the shadow of a disability
By far the hardest part of living with a disability, in my experience, is accepting the reality that people know nothing about me except for the fact that I have a disability. Even on my good days, it can feel as if I am going through life with a large shadow two steps behind me everywhere I go. Whether it's the government subjecting me to invasive and unnecessary evaluations to prove my disability or the blatant inaccessibility of certain parts of my community, the shadow that is my disability seemingly never leaves my side. Don't misunderstand me, I live a wonderful and productive life despite the hurdles life has thrown my way! I feel incredibly fortunate to have the support system of friends and family that has helped me achieve the best outcome for my situation. Nevertheless, I still get frustrated by society's tendency to compartmentalize me into a one-dimensional box that only focuses on my disability and, by its nature, disregards all the things that make me a complete person. So many aspects of my life go unappreciated or, worse, undiscovered by the general public because they make a snap judgment that I have nothing more to offer the world than to drool in the cup! If they took the time to have a simple 5-minute conversation, I am confident that they would find that I have far more to offer the world than just hopelessly looking out the window watching the world go by. It's understandable why the average person would believe this about people with disabilities. The reality is that people with disabilities, myself included, are not very well represented within general society. When is the last time you saw a movie or read a book that did not portray its disabled character as either hopeless or an object of comic relief? I'll wait. Occasionally, there are pieces of media that have done a fantastic job of portraying people with disabilities as full members of society. Notably, Out of My Mind by Sharon Draper is a fantastic example of disability media done right. Unfortunately, these examples are not only few and far between, they are not even the mainstream representation of people with disabilities in popular culture. Consequently, it remains a Herculean challenge to escape the shadow that is living with a disability! Just this once, I'd like to go in public secure in the knowledge that I am seen for who I really am on the inside, not just by the people who know me best, but by all my fellow human beings. However, until the culture changes and society learns to accept me and my fellow members of the disability community as full citizens of a beautiful and diverse society, I loathe to say That neither I nor most of the disability community will escape the shadows of our circumstances combined with prejudice and ignorance any time soon.
Great job Jaymason. You are not only an exceptional person and writer. Love Ya Nana
ReplyDeleteI’ve always seen you from the day I met you. I was so amazed by your wit, smarts and sense of humor. Love you. Keep showing the world how truly amazing you are.
ReplyDeleteAunt Kim in Jersey
DeleteYou are an amazing person Jay! I Can so relate bc I to have a disability. Everyday we go out into the ginormous world and faced with the ridicule of the things society as a whole thinks we cannot do, instead of what I can or have done. If they haven’t rolled, walked or crawled a day in our life how can they possibly understand what it takes for us to do what they believe to be an easy task? Opting a door, putting on our clothes, one leg or arm at a time. Communication for some is easy, while for others it is only through the advances of technology that we hear their voices often for the first time. Sad but true. We are seen for ou amazing piece of machinery that we sit in day in and day out, instead of the person in it. Comments whether they make you smile, cry or laugh will always be a huge part of the disability community. We are quite often not seen for our accomplishments in life, but instead of what we can’t do. I think ppl are scared to sit down and have a conversation with us bc a vast majority are afraid of what we might say. I have graduated from High School, held down a full time job, and graduated from college twice, been married, and yet ppl still ask my caregiver, family or friends if I can talk, attend activities for ppl like us! My response to such an idiotic assumption would make you die laughing. I’m saying all of this bc I truly understand and see you Jay!
ReplyDeleteThank you for telling me a little bit about your story as well as your perspective, it is truly appreciated! While I haven't crossed off as many milestones as yourself, I am fiercely proud of my accomplishments. This past fall, I was elected To my city council. To my knowledge, I am not only the youngest ever to be elected but the first wheelchair bound person as well. Even though I have lived and been connected with my community for many years, my campaign was still extremely difficult! Despite the difficulty, I received the most votes in the election, and I'm enjoying myself enormously. For me, the cherry on top is that I've done this With only a high school degree to my name. Congratulations, I'm graduating from college twice I tried accommodations where a pin in the but
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